Smeshnyuchie anecdotes

xxx: I can not think beyond. the brain rests on a skull.

Comments on the advice ' Do not put a light bulb in her mouth, she really pulled out '.

xxx: * offended * Well, there is little light bulb!).

yyy: they are in contact with the mouth at once swell and also not pulled out.

xxx: no it is not true.

I leave in a taxi. On the radio I hear the dialogue and the driver manager:.

Aviamotoronoy - Order! .

- Where will go?.

- Told the New York show at the place!.

Learned to speak, therefore, increased. Learned to be silent, therefore, wiser.

If you had wings behind my back is not croaked.

If a woman is equally good on all sides, then it's matryoshka.

Beware of good advice, good for nothing do not give....

If you ever laugh at you then you bring joy to people.

Make changes in life is easy, it is much harder to make then.

Plans for the future that do not match your financial, mental and physical abilities are called, dreams.

I can do everything! .

Do not attach importance to today's sorrows. Tomorrow you will have new.

Well, sho you cry, that there is no happiness in life? .

Do the officials who care about their own safety, that a brick in a bag does not bnaruzhivaetsya metal detector?.

- Happy Birthday!.

- Thanks, but how do you know?.

- And did you get it coincides with the password in the client- bank!.

- Oh.

In the dormitory:.

- Well, hello, ...

- What is your brother- I, I did not serve....

- So I did not serve, Katka just said you like me to throw more than one stick can not!.

The peasant was a member of a length of 30 centimeters, and it has worked exclusively in the women's team. And though all the work done by women for him, he died from physical exhaustion.

never in the middle of the next horror show does not go into the kitchen and do not put a pot on the stove wet.

it with the bitch hiss.

xxx: Bl @, smoke came out of the office - the wasp 's finger f @ anula, №%? *.

yyy: All ishi positive! .

xxx: I'm not in front of the office stsu.

yyy: Of course! .

of status in facebook - ' Injun said the Indian - made.

But if Injun said he had buried the hatchet, do not rush borzet - bow and the lance of conversation was not. '.

- You know that the most offensive when varish dumplings?.

- What do they boil soft?.

- No.

- What is it?.

- When the water boiled open the fridge, but no dumplings.

A drunk man in hlam ' polivaet ' Fences. Ment approached angrily: ' What are you, kid, delaesh? .

' And I shsho, shlang, shsho it? .

- Listen, tomorrow will be able to run our team in the competition office workers?.

- Perhaps, I can!.

- And how, a short distance sprinter or long distance runners - nadlinnuyu?.

- Come to the printer! .

Embassy for a visa:.

- Used drugs?.

- I am a law-abiding citizen!.

- So we can write as well - depending on the host.

In Russia there are only two ways: either to raise the retirement age, or taxes, Finance Minister Alexei Kudrin. Janitor Bob Ivanov said that there is another way - drop Alexei Kudrin.

in earthworm sex, orgasm, pregnancy and childbirth occur in a split second before a shovel pererubaet it in half.

- Hello, do you call the President of the Russian Federation. If you want to talk with Dmitri A. Medvedev, press '2 '.

The stability of American: What would freak have chosen for the presidency, the lives of most people has remained stable.

Stability in Russian: No matter how much worse life for most people, they consistently vote for the same freaks.

Advertising: look how delicious! .

one: how to sniff rings!.

Stood at the window of men's underwear. He saw the men's underwear with fleece! . Smiling girl came up with the question - I help you?.

Instinctively replied: - And your nails are not sharp!) )))).

My fellow yesterday ( 5 years):.

- Something I have itchy pepper. , momentary thought. Perhaps it's time to go to PERCHELOGU!.

Well, no longer pushed into the garbage pail, will make = (.

My dear friends, relatives, neighbors, colleagues and other. Remember to call my wife, I can only fool!.

- Mary, why did you Vova red marker written on his forehead?.

- This is not a marker?.

- What is it?.

- Compasses?!.